These boys fall like dominoes

Arghh, you know how it is when you think you are in love! You start ignoring all the boys you have been talking to. Even the men on the waiting list start to get ignored because who cares about other men when you have the one you want?

well at least that is what happened with me, no man in my life could live up to the boy with the espresso skin! Pshh Vera Wang, shmera wang! What did I need a designer wedding dress for when I had the greatest thing of all? Love! as for the Doctor, well Im smart enough to get a doctorate if I want it so who cares about that. Besides I cannot believe I would bow down to the patriarchy like that and assume a man is smarter than me just because he is a Dr of some obscure chemical what what . I am a strong independent woman who don’t need no man! Well except the boy with the espresso skin and we are equals and building each other up so that is different.

Well at least that is where I was, the day before the Sunday that will be forever known as Soul Crushing Sunday, my beautiful boy had gone on a trip with his friends. As luck would have it one of them knew the secret that I kept hidden in my bosom, yes, the teeny tiny one that I keep saying I will confess. Maybe he would tell him, maybe he would not but how bad could it be? Im sure my boo would understand, I mean surely he believes in me as I believe in him right. right ?

And yet on soul crushing Sunday I woke up with a sense of trepidation, where I was feeling butterflies in my stomach only days before I now felt vultures, huge vultures that were gnawing away at the very fabric of my trust. It was mid morning and he had not texted yet so I did what any logical mature woman would do…….! I sent him a text to tell him I was breaking up with him!

Fine, I know what you are thinking. That is not what a logical, mature woman would do but I was scared okay! Not because I thought I was particularly in the wrong but I knew it would lead to difficult conversations. I avoid difficult conversations like the plague, for example once I was mad at my best friend and instead of talking to her about it , I blocked her number then when I heard she was frantically looking for me, I “allegedly” skipped the country . I say allegedly because technically there were other difficult conversations that led to me giving away everything I owned and packing a bag and getting a one way ticket to distant shores but that is a story for another day. For now I broke up with the boy that I was in strong like with because I was dreading a difficult conversation but deep down inside I was hoping he would say no and persuade me to stay.

Imagine my suprise then when he replied to my text with ” I agree, had been thinking of it myself”

and that is how Soul Crushing Sunday began.

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