Did I mention I am very confrontation averse? A little contradictory to how I live the rest of my life I know, but I avoid difficult conversations with my nearest and dearest like the plauge. But armed with a false sense of bravado instilled in me by the giver of sage advice I ventured on.
I tried, I really did, put my gigantic ego aside and said whatever was on my mind. Luckily that part wasn’t that difficult cause I am notoriously blunt and will say exactly what I am thinking with very little regard for the consequences but in this instance the consequences were the object of my affections still deciding he wants out despite me veering close to begging him not to. The f*cking niggacity!!
*Niggacity (noun) – when a man, regardless of race or ethnicity is acting with extreme audacity!
So apart from my feelings being hurt my ego was extremely bruised! Like this guy took my ego, stomped on it, tied it to the back of a van and dragged it down a mountain path. Untied it and fed it to the dogs and that was unforgivable!
So I did what any sane person would do . I called Dr Bae, despite having walked away from our courtship with nary a care in the world, I badly needed the validation of someone else wanting me. Did he not ignore the call!! Imagine not picking up my call when I need you for selfish reasons. Men truly are subpar at best
Anyway with that not working I moved on to the EAMOM and luckily for me he picked up. I was on some ” Hi, its been a while, do you miss me?’ and like a fish he bit! He would pick me up in an hour and we could have a drink and talk. You know the old adage? To get over a man, you need to get under another man? Well I was determined to get over the boy with the espresso skin and I was determined to do it fast so I suggested to the EAMOM that we chill at his place instead.
So there we are, I’m explaining that I just got busy and I didn’t at all disappear on him, which technically isn’t a lie. I was indeed busy. Busy being taken for granted. Busy being booboo the fool! So I’m watching TV while we have this talk. I don’t even remember what I was watching when this guy just picked up the remote and changed the channel!! No consideration, no communication, nothing! Like, Sir, who raised you?
In that moment I realized how much I did not want to be there so I began to cry. Guy is trying to make sense of why I’m crying and I’m hollering like a baby. I lied and said I was stressed because of having lost my job because of Covid and all , because how could I tell him that I was crying over some other boy in his arms. A boy who waa probably at that very moment frolicking with a girl with bigger boobs somewhere!
And so I cried and insisted to be taken home. On the way though I needed comfort food so we stopped by the garage and he gave me his hard earned money to get snacks! Imagine, not only did I put tears all over his shirt, now he has to spent his money to finance a heartbreak he did not cause! This is why I dnt have nice things. I am a terrible person. In any case I got every snack I could see. Cookies, potato chips, chocolates, wine gums, 3 different flavours of pie, candy and even milk to dip the cookies in!
I got home, proceeded to get into bed with my stash and even a few ciders. By get into bed with my snacks I literally mean they were on the other side of the bed with me covered in my blankets and I was eating my pain away. I badly wanted to text the boy with the espresso skin but I was determined to be a lady and be a clown in solitude.
I was in the depths of my despair..